be happy

appe-thai-zing

simply appe-thai-zing!

sticky rice

when in bangkok... have sticky rice with mangoes after a heavy rice meal! soi sukhumvit 38.

ping pong show 4

[fourth and final entry]
[first, second and third entries]

exact visual SLAs

in hindsight, anyone who ventures in these kinds of adventures ought not to expect to be treated professionally. as seedy as it is, prostitution differs in form and having the money does not necessarily ensure that you'd have the upperhand or the power to demand what you can see. people involved in these kinds of acts have to resort to various forms of dupes since these actually put the balance of power in their favor. such empowerment means getting the biggest possible payout for a night's show… as they say, all in a day's work. people should venture at their own risk and anyone could really get more than, verbal abuse in foreign language included, what they bargained for. ping pong shows are definitely not your usual commercial transactions where you can stipulate exact visual SLAs and get your money's worth. 

i just wonder how much do those ping pong girls make in a day. of course, you can easily sense that they're veterans of the skin trade, probably started out as typical bargirls and as they grew older, graduated to performing improbable acts that exhibit the harnessed power of vaginal linings and pelvic muscles. most, if not all, these girls may have been trafficked from thai provinces or from neighboring countries like cambodia, burma or laos, doomed to ply in a grimy industry. through them, a whole lot of people like the aizas, mama sans, waiters and even those zero energy bargirls get paid. sadly, by becoming willing victims of this tourist trap, we unintentionally contributed to human trafficking and slavery. while a part of me still believe that these women are also willing victims of their plight, they also deserve to have further choices in life other than using physical torture to earn a living and being totally at mercy of the fat mama sans.     

   

curiosity snuffed out and egos bruised, we hopped on a taxi hoping to be transported to more familiar and wholesome treats. but as if the aizas and mama sans from bangkok heavens were conspiring against us, the taxi driver brought us to another girlie bar, tucked away in one of bangkok's seedy dark corners around phetchaburi road. we wanted to go to clean joints where you can have beer and chitchat without any touts hovering. as jan puts it, a bar where you can bring your family along, to which the taxi driver answered, "go back to your hotel and sleep!" we ended up in a deserted siam square and we decided that it's best to walk… cross rama road, go back to phaya thai road and on to ratchatewi bts station. jumbo singha beer at hand, we're glad that we're back to that good old clean fun… although we felt that we shouldn't have been charged 30 baht for ice. 

chalked up the ping pong show to experience, with manny pacquiao in the background saying, "now you know!", we called it a night… ping pong pat pong night. 

ping pong balls will never look the same again.

ping pong show 3

[third of 4 entries]
[first and second entries]


no pay, no watch

and then the ping pong show high came to a screeching halt. we were in that establishment for no more than 15 minutes when the fat mama san mightily approached our table, shouted at us, in thai of course, violently banged on our table and demanded that we pay them 5,900 baht! showing a laminated piece of paper outlining the cost of watching the show, complete with well rehearsed hostility, she screamed in broken english, "no pay, no watch! pay! pay! pay!" we of course, know our stuff. we answered back that their aiza told us that it would only be 200 baht per head and that should come with a bottle of beer. after this, the pot-bellied mama san shouted, "ok, pay… pay!" since we know that no matter how much we argued with these people we won't win… we paid 200 baht per head and then left that im-perfect bar without even finishing half of our beers.

walking back to where we met aiza, i saw her immediately but upon seeing us, she instantly turned to avoid us and hid. we decided to walk a little bit away from that aisle but came back right away to see aiza back. we confronted her saying that she got us scammed and she actually led us to that trap in perfect bar. while this was happening, other touts have already surrounded us and as if practiced, aiza responded, "how much you pay? how much you pay?" end of discussion, as if saying to us that you already got what you paid for. final round to the perfect bar's mama san and knockout uppercut from aiza.

it was clear that what happened was an orchestrated trap to dupe unsuspecting tourists from whom these joint operators can extract unimaginable amount of baht. the deception started with the aizas and then the mama san will have to act violently to decive customers into that ruse. while we may be the willing victims that time since we wanted to see what the infamous ping pong show could offer, such verbal violence was altogether appalling, especially as thailand prides itself as the land of smiles. we knew that we'd have to shell out some good sum of money, but getting shouted upon and threatened should not be part of it. anyhow, these kinds of acts are somewhat tolerated in thai society. while i'm sure that most of them frown upon prostitution, the fact that these are openly advertised, haggled and consumed, it's definitely one of bangkok's infamous come-ons. 

ping pong show 2

[second of 4 entries]
[first entry]


vaginal prowess

anyway, after the two acts, two girls approached us to ask for tips for the ping pong girls. we were talking among ourselves, asking how much to give… when from out of nowhere, a sudden gush of water blew to our direction and completely doused mia. before we were made busy by the girls asking for tip, i already noticed that a girl came up to the stage and had two bottles. she was striking these bottles violently and it turned out that she needed this process in order for her to remove the bottle crown using her inner thigh and pelvic muscles, close to her vaginal canal. that third act was not enjoyable at all. we didn't know what kind of liquid was vaginally and forcefully siphoned to our direction but we knew that this was some soda water, otherwise it won't erupt like it did. i thought that they specifically did that to startle us so that we'd be forced or be fascinated to give a tip. unfortunately for them, we weren't… rounds one to three to the four cheapo pinoys!

     

the ladies asking for tips came back to their stations, as a new girl was coming on to the stage. she had a small basket of white ping pong balls. as experienced as she appeared to be, she took her bikini off and took to the position – flying V, with both legs spread eagled to our direction. the first ball came close to my direction, flew out of her vagina to her left. her succeeding balls still flew to her left and i felt that she was actually targeting me. but these first few balls still didn't have the accuracy and needed acceleration to travel far and beyond the sides of our table. however, just like a tennis ball machine used by rafa and maria during their trainings, the lady in no time got her groove on and soon was cannoning ping pong balls to our directions. i would imagine that this act would be similar how professor trelawney would have heaved her crystal balls towards death eaters in the final chapter of harry potter! her talented vagina and its marvelous might continued to fling cannon throws to our direction that arms even picked one of those wet balls. after about 20 balls flung, pitched and lobbed here and there, the act was finished. while arms picked one with her bare hand, the chiwariwap girls actually had catch basket to pick up the ping pong balls. clapping our hands, i think this is what we hoped to see. looking back, we thought that she actually needed to insert one or two ping pong balls inside her vagina in order to fling the balls out. similar to how bata reyes or django would sargo nine balls in billiards, she would need a cue ball to slingshot the ball on top to her audience's direction. we won't know for sure.

after this one, the girls came up to us again to ask for tip. and again, we told them that we'd give a little later. in what would be the final act of this show, a girl came on to the stage holding a quasi-cake with around 12 esperma-looking candles. she sat on stage, lit all the candles and took to that now familiar position. spread-eagled with the cake in front of her vagina, she started to blow the candles… one by one! with her vast experience, she put out the candlelight as methodical as nadal would put away a forehand winner. the candles were arranged in three rows, four candles on each and her vaginal blows were accurately aimed at only one candle each time. you would imagine that her orifice, as wide as it is, would spread the blows uncontrollably that all or at least two candlelight will be put off. but her amazing vaginal prowess came with athlete-like control that she was able to direct the air deliberately. at that point, i was amazed… two yeses from me! of course, she might be using some version of tooter to blow air from her vagina, otherwise the air would just be released ala fart.

ping pong show

i've already posted this many years back but since i'm in bangkok as of this writing, i thought of re-posting this to open the eyes of many would-be victims (even those willing ones) of this infamous tourist trap. 

[first of 4 entries]

emptying a bottle of 8-ounce coke

it was supposed to be a fun adventure – an adventure into the realm of that infamous bangkok treat. but it wasn't. it turned out to be one of those experiences you'd like to relay to other people, not because you enjoyed it… but because you want them to avoid the same fate and inform them about a peculiar cultural phenomenon, somewhat akin to the numerous "talent" shows on tv. i've already heard of this as early as 1999 from one of the worst ever instructors i had during my UP days (clue: he used to teach comm 191 - ethics and used to be a member of the journalism department). mr. r, in one of those boring meetings, told us that talented girls in bangkok's patpong area empty a bottle of 8-ounce coke into their vaginas and can actually put the entire softdrink content back to the bottle… all part of what patpong touts openly advertise to tourists in an area where you can also buy fake rolex and LVs. i've been to bangkok a few times already, but i didn't have a chance to visually sample this strange tourist trap called ping pong show, until that early march in 2011.

just as wide-eyed as primary school freshies, we went to soi patpong, silom area after a very nice dinner at ban khun mae in siam square. not too long, we met a boylady (butch lesbian) who we branded as aiza, one of those street callers flitting around the area to shepherd tourists in one of the bars that headline ping pong shows. she didn't exactly look like aiza seguerra but she'd fall into that typical tibo look – crop-haired, short, overly manly… hence aiza. she offered the show for 300 baht, but of course we won't pay that much, so haggle we did. we settled for 200 baht – with beer and the show. pure fun and exposure as expectations, off we went up the bar called perfect bar.

i already noticed that there are not too many customers that tuesday night. apart from the four of us, there were just another group of three on the left side of the stage. when we entered, there already was a girl blowing horn on the stage. she was using a horn much like what potpot, the typical urban magbobote used when going around barangays. of course, she wasn't blowing the horn through her mouth but through that other orifice, using ultra cervical muscle control. beer was served and the second act was already underway… another girl lied down on stage, lit a cigarette and smoked it using her vagina. a few more vaginal puffs and the cigarette was done… as they say in pilipinas got talent, it was a yes for me! after this act, a big fat ladyboy went up to me asking me to buy her lady's drink. thanks to arms, we were able to shoo him away and avoided paying for another 300 baht, especially when he didn't do anything at all.

i can't remember if the same girl did the first two acts, but i just knew that the ones doing the act are totally unattractive. they look like spent lifesize voodoo dolls who make use of their super talented clits to make a living. there were also some four to five other girls on the stage, topless, standing but pretending to gyrate in cabaret sounds. they're supposed to be doing erotic dancing but they just stood there with almost zero energy. among those chiwariwap girls, there was only one who could pass to be attractive enough… really curvy, fair-skinned, tall and have boldstar-material tits. of course, this one was easily the best-looking that you'd immediately think that her body was manufactured, especially her maui taylor-like boobs. upon more careful  observation, my initial thoughts were true…  she's actually an operated ladyboy. 

#BinayResign

no to binay. period.