Wednesday, May 27, 2015

ping pong show

i've already posted this many years back but since i'm in bangkok as of this writing, i thought of re-posting this to open the eyes of many would-be victims (even those willing ones) of this infamous tourist trap. 

[first of 4 entries]

emptying a bottle of 8-ounce coke

it was supposed to be a fun adventure – an adventure into the realm of that infamous bangkok treat. but it wasn't. it turned out to be one of those experiences you'd like to relay to other people, not because you enjoyed it… but because you want them to avoid the same fate and inform them about a peculiar cultural phenomenon, somewhat akin to the numerous "talent" shows on tv. i've already heard of this as early as 1999 from one of the worst ever instructors i had during my UP days (clue: he used to teach comm 191 - ethics and used to be a member of the journalism department). mr. r, in one of those boring meetings, told us that talented girls in bangkok's patpong area empty a bottle of 8-ounce coke into their vaginas and can actually put the entire softdrink content back to the bottle… all part of what patpong touts openly advertise to tourists in an area where you can also buy fake rolex and LVs. i've been to bangkok a few times already, but i didn't have a chance to visually sample this strange tourist trap called ping pong show, until that early march in 2011.

just as wide-eyed as primary school freshies, we went to soi patpong, silom area after a very nice dinner at ban khun mae in siam square. not too long, we met a boylady (butch lesbian) who we branded as aiza, one of those street callers flitting around the area to shepherd tourists in one of the bars that headline ping pong shows. she didn't exactly look like aiza seguerra but she'd fall into that typical tibo look – crop-haired, short, overly manly… hence aiza. she offered the show for 300 baht, but of course we won't pay that much, so haggle we did. we settled for 200 baht – with beer and the show. pure fun and exposure as expectations, off we went up the bar called perfect bar.

i already noticed that there are not too many customers that tuesday night. apart from the four of us, there were just another group of three on the left side of the stage. when we entered, there already was a girl blowing horn on the stage. she was using a horn much like what potpot, the typical urban magbobote used when going around barangays. of course, she wasn't blowing the horn through her mouth but through that other orifice, using ultra cervical muscle control. beer was served and the second act was already underway… another girl lied down on stage, lit a cigarette and smoked it using her vagina. a few more vaginal puffs and the cigarette was done… as they say in pilipinas got talent, it was a yes for me! after this act, a big fat ladyboy went up to me asking me to buy her lady's drink. thanks to arms, we were able to shoo him away and avoided paying for another 300 baht, especially when he didn't do anything at all.

i can't remember if the same girl did the first two acts, but i just knew that the ones doing the act are totally unattractive. they look like spent lifesize voodoo dolls who make use of their super talented clits to make a living. there were also some four to five other girls on the stage, topless, standing but pretending to gyrate in cabaret sounds. they're supposed to be doing erotic dancing but they just stood there with almost zero energy. among those chiwariwap girls, there was only one who could pass to be attractive enough… really curvy, fair-skinned, tall and have boldstar-material tits. of course, this one was easily the best-looking that you'd immediately think that her body was manufactured, especially her maui taylor-like boobs. upon more careful  observation, my initial thoughts were true…  she's actually an operated ladyboy. 

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