foresee

Nobody can foresee the future, Doctor. 

Not you, not I, and certainly not Mrs. Crawly.

- Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham

evil clown

This used to be a funhouse but now it's full of evil clowns. 
It's time to start the countdown.
I'm gonna burn it down down down. 
I'm gonna burn it down.

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!
- Pink

bokya

ito na ‘to talaga.

ilang linggo na nga (aktwali, ilang taon na!) ang pagmamaktol kong ito tungkol sa di na makatarungang istres na dulot ng isang bungang-ugat. natapos at lumipas na nga ang madugong setyembre. matatapos na rin ang oktubreng bagamat di sindugo ng setyembre, paminsan-minsan ay may kung anong bigat sa aking batok. at tila di na ito magbabago pa.

nagpupumilit naman ang bungang-ugat na uminspayr o magpasigla sa mga nananamlay. pero sadyang wala siyang anumang kasanayan pagdating dito. di mararamdaman ninuman na may tunay na pagtingin ito sa kapakanan ng mga tagasunod dahil na rin sa walang habas na panghihimasok nito sa lahat ng bagay at ang nakapagpapataas ng dugong paraan ng pagtatanong at pamamalakad. walang maliw ang panghahamon nito sa lahat. mas malala, pakiramdam niya ay magiging malapit siya sa mga tao sa pag-uusisa sa mga personal na buhay ng iba. pero hindi. lalo lang nagiging maliwanag na pakialamer(o/a) at tunay na may di maipaliwanag na kainipang nagaganap sa kanyang buhay bungang-ugat.

nitong umaga lang, may ideya na siya kung ano ang nais niyang mangyari pero namimilit pa rin ng suhestyon mula sa mga tao. para saan pa ang mga mungkahi kung buo na sa isip niya na ang gusto niya ang dapat mangyari? demokrasya kuno pero litaw na litaw na may bahid na ng pagkaamo ang hilatsa ng bungang-ugat. may kung anong iswager na ito kumpara dati noong may mas malaking tao kaysa sa kanya.

hindi ang walang wakas na istres at negatibong presyur mula sa bungang-ugat ang minithi ko sa karerang ito. batid kong magkakaroon ng presyur ngunit dapat ito’y nakakawing sa positibong uri. hindi ‘yung bawat kibot ay may salansang agad. di talaga magtataka ang sinuman na walang nakatagal sa kanyang galamay. sigurado akong maging ang mga kinukunsidera niyang malalapit ay sari-sari rin ang masasabi tungkol sa bungang-ugat.

nais ko na lamang makuha kung ano ang nararapat kong tanggapin. malamang ay di ito malaki o di kaya’y totalmenteng bokya. dedepende ito sa anumang balita sa miyerkules. anu’t anuman, hindi na dapat pang patagalin ang pagdurusang ito.

 ito na nga ito. ito na talaga.

"we go massage"

as this clever sign on a pick up truck along sukhumvit soi 3 says, massage is never a bad idea whenever you're in bangkok!

Lezo

fresh from my phuket trip in june , i went straight to work. my very first thing to do was the special study on print and i needed to go to aklan to speak with akelco (aklan's answer to mega manila's meralco). akelco's office is in lezo so i hired a service van to go to the next town from marzon hotel in kalibo. i got earlier than our scheduled appointment so i had time to walk around lezo town.

lezo town is a sleepy small town. wikipedia says it is a 5th class municapality. it isn't similar to your next door quaint town where you'd see a strategic town plaza or a booming market. what caught my eye was the lezo church, which is located several steps from the municipal hall. the church's facade still bears some of its original design although some parts of it have already been modernized. inside the church, the roof was all changed to the usual covered court design and material. what's good is that the original walls are maintained.  

nineteen

 



curiosity

zora neale hurston said that “research is formalized curiosity. it is poking and prying with a purpose.” but when one pokes and pries on just about anything, could it still be branded as formalized curiosity?

the simple answer is no. snooping and prying on just about any imaginable things isn’t being curious. it is an obnoxious behavior, an unbearable conduct of someone who is obviously bored with life. dullness… that’s what it is. apparently, insipidness can obliterate one’s idea of social graces. deliberate social ineptitude masked by an unpleasant amount of curiosity is just unforgivable.

there are various sorts of curiosity; one is from interest, which makes us desire to know that which may be useful to us; and the other, from pride which comes from the wish to know what others are ignorant of. - francois de la rochefoucauld

a person who is too nice an observer of the business of the crowd, like one who is too curious in observing the labor of bees, will often be stung for his curiosity. - alexander pope

dementor

"When they get near me--I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum." -- Harry Potter

Horrible, spectral creatures, hooded and robed, which feed on human emotions. Dementors drain ‘peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them,’ according to Lupin (PA10). Even before a Dementor is seen, its presence is obvious; they are surrounded by an unnatural darkness and terrible icy cold (PA5). Dementors affect even Muggles, although the Muggles can’t see the foul, black creatures. They were the guards at Azkaban and made that place horrible indeed. The Ministry used Dementors as guards in its courtrooms as well (GF30, DH13).

When they breed, they create chill mist which permeates everything (HBP1). They drain a wizard of his powers if left with them too long. A Dementor's breath sounds rattling and like it's trying to suck more than air out of a room. Its hands are "glistening, grayish, slimy-looking, and scabbed". It seems to exude cold (PA5). A Dementor's last and worst weapon is called the Dementor's Kiss. The Dementor puts back its hood and clamps its jaws on the mouth of the victim and sucks out his soul, leaving him an empty shell, alive but completely, irretrievably "gone." (PA12, PA20) (from The Lexicon page 82).

There are certain defenses one can use against Dementors, specifically the Patronus Charm.

http://www.hp-lexicon.org/bestiary/dementors.html

haven't met you yet

Haven't Met You Yet
Michael Buble
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility
And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
And somehow I know that it'll all turn out

You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility
And someday I know it'll all turn out

And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get
Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get

Yeah, I just haven't met you yet
I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get
I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

above song and the rest of buble songs are keeping me company this wednesday afternoon. happy thoughts = happy mid-week. (",)

stress

stress is the trash of modern life ---

we all generate it

but if you don't dispose of it properly,

it will pile up and overtake your life.

- terri guillemets

eighteen

akalain mong umabot ng 18. di pa natatagalan noong masumpungan ito. madilim at may kaldag sa dibdib. sabi nga ay naglakas-loob lang. medyo palpak pa noong una hanggang maka-harhar na nga. at ngayon ay 18 na.

kung coming of age ang pag-uusapan, wala nang tatalo pa sa 18. edad ito ng pagboto sa maraming bansa at ipinagdiriwang bilang pagtawid mula sa pagiging tinedyer tungo sa pagiging ganap na maygulang. may 18 kabanata ang bhagavad gita na nakapaloob sa mahabharata. palagi ring maririnig ang 18 wheeler sa mga trak, habang sa isang round ng golf ay may 18 holes. masuwerte raw ang 18 sa mga intsik kaya mas madalas na mas mahal ang upa sa ika-18 palapag ng mga gusali. ang salitang hebreo na chai o buhay ay may numerikal na katumbas na 18. dahil dito, madalas na 18 ang multiple ng mga regalo sa kanilang kultura upang magpahiwatig ng mahabang buhay.

dumating na nga siguro sa puntong “maygulang” na. kung sa golf, nakatapos na ng isang buong round. gaya ng sa bhagavad gita, may anong lagay na ng loob at tumawid na mula sa simpleng harinahan papuntang kawingang maaaring pangmatagalan. siguro mas marami na rin ang maaaring madala parang sa 18 wheeler trak. sana nga’y may kakaibang suwerte ang dala nito. at siyempre, mas masaya kapag mas lalo pa itong tumagal. eighteen na.

nasi bojari

my KL trip gave me a chance to try madam kwan's nasi bojari. although it tasted a lot nicer when i first tried it two years ago, it was still a nice treat, especially when having dinner all by yourself. nasi bojari consists of flavored rice, beef rendang, sambal shrimps, tomatoes and cucumber and indonesian-inspired but malaysian-prepared fried chicken.

ascott

i went to some sort of southeast asian tour the past two weeks. my first stop was jakarta. traffic wasn't so bad when i got there early sunday afternoon. i got to ascott jakarta near plaza indonesia in 30 minutes. monday till wednesday, traffic turned awful. almost an hour was needed to go to our office in sudirman (near le meridien hotel) from ascott. everywhere there was traffic jam, even in side streets. one of the worst i've experienced really.anyway, jakarta's such a big and dynamic city. food's great and the people are generally nice.

ascott serviced apartment in jakarta isn't really cheap. breakfast is ok, not too bad. it's very close to plaza indonesia so i can get a takeaway meal for late night work. the serviced apartment felt old, as if you're in one of those 18th century mansions. although very spacious, for a quick business trip, you don't really get to use the living room. i stayed the whole time in the room where the internet cable is located and there's no wifi available. cleanliness was also a suspect, especially in the kitchen area. utensils were not changed and washed. next time, i'd request for another hotel.

migraine

bakit ka nagbalik ha? matagal ka nang nagpaalam. taon na rin ang binilang nang huli kang umariba. ‘yung pag-aribang halos maya’t maya at tumatagal ng halos buong araw. pero bakit nandito ka na naman? magpaliwanag ka nga. sige nga, migraine!

sa halos tatlong linggo lamang ng setyembre, biglang naging madalas na bisita ang sakit ng ulo. halos araw-araw ito. bukod pa nga sa bigat ng batok at sikip ng dibdib, ang maygreyn ay isang kundisyong panlupaypay kaninuman. maski ngayon mismong oras na sinusulat ko ito, umaatikabo pa rin ang maygreyn ko.

ano nga ba kasi ang nagbago nitong nakaraang tatlong linggo? ano nga ulit?

maang-maangan kunwari pero batid na batid naman ang katotohanang ang pagbabalik ng mandragora sa direktang himpapawid ang natatanging sanhi ng masamang pakiramdam na ito. taon din ang binilang nang huling sumalakay ang lamanlupang ito. nagpapalit-palit, pero ang bungangkahoy ang umudyok sa akin na mapunta sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon. halos labindalawang buwan din ang lumakad bago tuwiran na ngang mandragora ang magpapatakbo ng mga bagay-bagay. at ito nga ang nag-iisang dahilan ng muling pag-atake ng migraine. wala nang iba pa.

jumping