labalan

dami nang nagsulat tungkol sa mga kakatwang istiryotipikal na mga tema at sahog sa pelikulang pilipino. pero sa tuwing makakabasa ako ng mga tulad ng nasa ibaba, natatawa pa rin ako! una, masasabi mong pinoy lang ang makaiisip ng mga gimik na tulad ng ganito. pangalawa, magaling raw tayong mangopya. pero 'pag kinopya natin, nagiging kakatwa at siguradong malalahukan ng sangkaterbang kabaduyan at tipikal na pormula. at pangatlo, hanggang ngayon, marami pa rin sa 20 puntos na ito ang ginagamit sa mga palabas, lalo na sa telebisyon dahil naghihingalo na nga ang industriya ng pelikula... marahil na rin sa pormulang matagal nang gasgas. buti nga't namatay na ang mga pelikulang aksyon at nabawasan ang mga kakatwang eksena! pero sana naman ay makagawa tayo ng mahusay na pelikulang pandaigdig ang halina ngunit taal na pinoy ang talakay. kailan kaya 'yun?!

The Top Twenty Signs That You're Watching A Pinoy Movie


1. Sasayaw sa likod ng puno ng buko pag nasa beach yung scene. Alternate pa 'yung mga ulo nila.

2. 'Yung kontrabida yayakap sa bida, sabay taas ng kilay at ngingisi.

3. Uuwi ang bida na may dalang pancit sa kanyang nanay na si Anita Linda. Tatawagin nito ang mga bata para kumain, at kakamustahin ng bida ang pag-aaral habang kumakain ng pancit. Biglang may titigil na sasakyan sa harap ng bahay at pauulanan ng baril ang pamilya! Mamamatay si Anita Linda, at sisigaw ang bida ng "Inaaay!" at mangangakong ipaghihiganti ito. Moral lesson: Ang pansit nagdadala ng malas - nakakamatay.

4. Pag may magkaribal na babae, yung mabait deretcho ang buhok at may bangs. Yung salbahe, laging kulot.

5. Sa pinoy action movies, ang bida hindi nauubusan ng bala.

6. Sa pinoy action movies, kapag tumakbo ang bida, sa lupa lahat ang tama ng bala ng kalaban.

7. Kapag may angry mob na pupunta sa bahay-kubo ng manananggal, si Vangie Labalan ang laging lider.

8. Alam mong moment of truth na ng bida kapag sinabi na niya 'yung title ng pelikula.

9. Ang tawag ng kontrabida sa mga goons niya, "Mga bata."

10. 'Yung nakababatang kapatid ng bida habang naglalaro ng bola, mabibitawan at mapupunta sa gitna ng kalsada. Tapos may darating na sasakyan, tapos itutulak siya ng bida. 'Yung bida naman ang nasa gita ng kalsada. Biglang may sasakyang darating. Ang bida, ico-cross lang niya arms niya covering his face tapos sisigaw 'yung kapatid ng 'kuyaaa!' ... Next scene nasa ospital na sila. Simula na ng drama.

11. Kapag bakbakan, hindi nasasaktan ang bida, pero umaaray siya pag ginagamot na siya ng leading lady, at kasunod na ang love scene.

12. Kapag sinabi ng kontrabida ang masama niyang plano sa bida, ang sasabihin ng bida: "hayop ka!"

13. Ang bidang babae, pag katulong ang role, siguradong magiging anak ng amo niya sa ending.

14. Ang nanay ng mayaman laging may pamaypay na pangmayaman, at ang nanay ng mahirap laging naka duster.

15. Ang hideout ng kontrabida, parating mansion na may chicks sa pool.

16. Ang mga bida sa drama, pag nakatanggap ng masamang balita, laging may pinto sa likod nila para puwede silang sumandal habang nagi-slide dahan-dahan pababa, tapos todo iyak with matching uhog.

17. Pag di nahuli ng mga goons ang bida, sasabihin ng boss sa kanila, "Mga inutil!"

18. Laging nakakapulot ng baril na may bala ang bida kapag kinakailangan niya.

19. Laging mas maganda ang yayang bida kesa sa kontrabidang anak ng amo niya.

20. Pag ang ending ng movie ay song and dance number sa beach o resort, ang huling frame, tatalon ang buong cast.... sabay freeze.

neck

one good neck exercise... hehehehe! (",)

hp

Lost in translation!

Question to Serena Williams, after she said she enjoys household chores like cooking and cleaning:

"Do you do windows?"

"I'm an HP girl, Hewlett Packard."

ads

... from the past.

boracay

it's almost summer. and yet, we still don't have anywhere to go. so to ease the pain of missing out on batanes trip, i went back to one of our best beach trips - bora! this article, written by det, my, kr and myself was mainly for our colleagues in AP, who might want to visit our beloved bora. sarap mag-beach! (",)

We Like Where We Are: The IDC Philippines Boracay Trip 2007
Writers: Det Caraig, Jubert Alberto, Mylene Buensuceso, and Karen Rondon

It all started with Omar's email last year saying, "Game na! (Let's go!)," with an attached list of ticket prices for domestic flights offered by Cebu Pacific (a domestic airline company). So, on a dare, we all tried our luck to access the Cebu Pacific Web site and indeed found that it was having the biggest ticket sale ever — Php88 (around US$2) per domestic flight! Everyone came to an agreement and bought tickets without any other thought in mind except how inexpensive the flight was. This was an opportunity for us to visit the breathtaking paradise of Boracay Island for the second time.

The Adventure

Being one of the favorite vacation spots in the Philippines of local and foreign tourists alike especially during summer, Boracay offered us a good location not only for photo opportunities and our default game, Charades, but also for a wide range of activities such as island hopping, snorkeling, playing Frisbee, diving, parasailing, paraw sailing, and hiking up Mt. Luho, the highest point in the island.

Island Hopping

Without minding the intense heat of the sun that we would soon be enduring, we all set out to travel from one part of the island to another.

Guided by the very personable tour guide, Howard, the team stopped first at Turtle Island, dubbed such because of its turtlelike shape. Some of us went snorkeling in this area. The water was so clear that even from the boat you could see the fish scrambling toward the pieces of bread thrown at them.

Next stop was Crystal Cove, a privately owned resort where for a fee of Php100 each, you could hike up and down a trail to take pictures from atop balconies from which you could see the island and inside caves leading to the sides of mountains where the waves seemingly met each other, splashing water on everyone inside them during the high tide.

Last stop was the very awe-inspiring and uncrowded Puka Beach. Surrounded by cliffs, the beach is well-known for the puka shells found on its shores. The serene and crystal-clear water of Puka Beach was a relief from the worldly noise of White Beach. Since some of us have not been to this part of the island, we stayed for some time to swim and take pictures till it was time to go back "home."

Diving

To explore what lies beneath the immaculate aquamarine waters of Boracay presents a different experience for both amateur and seasoned scuba divers. The sight of black wetsuits in stark contrast against the spotless white sand and sparkling seawater was already eye candy.

The group did two dives. The first one was a deep dive at Yapak, restricted to advanced divers. Yapak is famous for its vast marine life, rough waters, and strong current. The highlight of the Yapak dive could be seeing 6-ft. white-tip and gray reef sharks.

The second one was a shallower fun dive at Crocodile Island for licensed divers like me (Karen) and Cathy as well as first-time divers like Omar. “This was a nerve-wracking experience but an ultimate high! It was fun and tense. I almost fainted," said Omar. Cathy and I, being licensed divers, enjoyed the good visibility, colorful and interesting marine life such as plant-looking flag fish, and, of course, watching Omar fumble underwater.

Parasailing

Parasailing, a recreational sport of soaring in a parachute while being towed by a speedboat via a long rope, is easily one of the most expensive activities in Boracay. However, the 20-minute ride gives one a sense of calmness.

While the parachute was being raised, Det and I (Jubert) saw a downward view of the sea. The ride was initially scary. At that point, we realized that we were practically dangling in the air with only a rope controlling and supporting the parachute. However, when the parachute stabilized and hovered 100–150m above the water's surface, we were able to enjoy a breathtaking and unobstructed view of the whole island, its white coast, and neighboring islands. A fleeting experience of airy proportion, parasailing also gives one a chance to be lowered waist deep in the water then raised up again, providing more thrill toward the end of the ride.

Paraw Sailing

The word paraw in “paraw sailing” is a Hiligaynon (a Filipino dialect) term for a sailboat that has a triangular sail used for fishing and traveling. Paraw sailing consists of a boat ride to get a great view of the sun setting seemingly into the depths of the sea. It was supposed to be a relaxing ride for Jubert and I (Det) but because we particularly wanted to take the opportunity to take great pictures with the sun setting in the background, we ended up crawling from one side of the paraw to the other. It didn't matter that we scraped our knees and ended up being black and blue all over from all that crawling . . . because the pictures were all worth it!

Hiking Up the Island's Peak

The hike up Mt. Luho, the highest point of the island, was not really hard but it was still tiring. We split up into two groups in order to take tricycles to the foot of the trail. We agreed to meet up at the peak. The hike going to Mt. Luho affords one a rural landscape view albeit a number of housing projects along the way.

Upon reaching the Mt. Luho Viewpoint, those who were gutsy enough to endure the trek were rewarded with a fantastic 360-degree view of Boracay, a backdrop that proved perfect for another round of picture taking. Those who do not want to “sweat enough to get there” (as the Viewpoint’s entrance ad said) may rent all-terrain vehicles for their convenience.

On the way down, we saw an empty jeep and hired it to go to Boracay Terraces, which was located at the tip of Boat Station 1. From there, one could walk to Diniwid Beach and see the sunset at its best.

Must-Go-To Places on the Island

One’s Boracay trip will never be complete without a visit to the following places:
· Club Paraw and Coco Mangas — Two of the most frequently visited bars. Be delighted by lots of beautiful people (us included . . . hehe) drinking and dancing to house music and hip-hop tracks.
· Summerplace — Visit the place for that laidback vibe, featuring reggae bands and shisha.
· Hey Jude — Vodka. Tonic. Margarita. Pizzas. Electronica. Perfect combination.
· Jonah's — Famous for fruit shakes that are certainly "to die for." No kidding, you'll be in heaven in no time.
· Cyma — Come in rookies; come out foodies with the creamy Greek cuisine. Not to mention that the price is right and the food's divine. (Spartans need not dine in hell with Cyma around.)
· Smoke — Located at the Talipapa (a Filipino term for a small-town market), the place is well-known for that local flavor. Come in early though as the restaurant’s bestsellers run out fast. Also, find out for yourself why it is called such (*wink, wink*).
· D Mall — The commercial and entertainment center of Boracay. Shopping. Dining. A Ferris Wheel smack in the center. Mime artists. Name it, D Mall's got it.
· Any nice spot on the beach — Of course, bumming and lazing on the beach is a must.

When it was finally time to say goodbye to our favorite paradise, we found it hard to pack our things. It seemed that nobody wanted to go home yet because everyone woke up late on the morning of our flight back to Manila. Thus, we were still on the road an hour before our flight schedule. Lugging our even bigger bags, we had to run to the check-in counter when we finally reached the Kalibo Airport because we were almost late for the flight. We thought we wouldn’t make it on time. Thank God we did, even if we were the last ones to board the plane and we had to sit separately.

At this point in our lives, we definitely like where we are — in the Philippines, enjoying the company of friends and the perfect party beach just a 45-minute ride away. Our second time, four-day trip to Boracay, is one of the most cherished moments of the team together. The island gave us a chance to bond and forget the worldly confusion and stress of urban living and simply have fun with one another even for just a while. The minute we set foot in the pristine white sands of Boracay, we knew that the trip was going to be all worth the hassle. Indeed, the island washed all our troubles away and made us realize how lucky we are to have easy access to the wonders it offered. Care to join us when we do this the third time?

spiritless

in september 19 last year, all in a sheer joy of traveling to this must-see and experience place, we booked an asian spirit flight to batanes. since airfare to batanes could easily shoot up to almost PHP 12,000, we grabbed the opportunity to strike the cheapest possible fare that we could. and we did. we even went to their ticketing office in legaspi street, so that mylene could swipe her way to our printed tickets. the crew there said that we should keep these tickets safe, for without it, we might not get to our flight. apparently, they won't print out another set if we lost ours.

then the biggest news so far. last week we got a downright disappointing news that our batanes trip won't push through anymore. the new management (juicemaker zest-o took over last year, hence the new name, zest airways) has terminated their flights to basco, along with other destinations, mostly northern and southern. it's now less than a month before the flight and zest air has not even bothered to inform us about the cancellation of the flight. the only reason behind the cancellation was that the airline was supposedly beefing up their aircrafts, while cathy was told that strong winds prevent any of their flights from landing in basco airport. crap.

most of us have already filed for leave during those days, so scheduling another one will be tougher. aside from the fact that we won't get our cash anymore if we decide to get a refund (which means that those credits will be spent even if i don't like to), the major frustration lies in missing the whole trip altogether since our minds are already set in seeing batanes' marlboro country, ivatan houses, among others. to make things worse, zest air will not be shouldering the additional cost if we decide to get to another airline that goes to batanes on that same date. buwisit! as of now, the website says that resumption of flights will be announced soon. but how soon is this? grrrrr!

spiritless - that's what this airline is. and now, they're saying that zest air is asia's most refreshing airline… i don't think so. refreshingly crap maybe.

oscar-ed

she got parodied in a series of youtube videos that talked about her being nominated 5 times but never won. in this series, two dames - judi dench and helen mirren (caricatures of course), poked fun at her nods without a single win, even if she's the youngest ever actress (at 33) who racked up 5 noms.

but now, she's finally oscar-ed! kate winslet won the golden guy for her performance in the reader. yeheeey! i saw a lot of her movies and i think she's one of the best actresses ever. from that obscure jude, sense and sensibility, titanic, iris, the life of david gale, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, the holiday and little children. but i have yet to see the reader and revolutionary road. i need go to mcs asap! hehehehe!

rihanna

di siya naprotektahan ng payong.

diumano, inulan siya ng buntal, kaya heto ang kinauwian.

teka, sa kanya ba ipinagaya ni pops fernandez ang labi niya?!!

wat

bangkok. destinasyon namin nitong nakaraang linggo! di nakasama si zel dahil sa pagdadalantao habang si mylene naman ay inabot ng kamalasan sa pagkuha ng pasaporte. naiwan ako kina mark at boboy. sa kabuuan, umokey naman ang lakad, kahit mag-isa ako sa halos kalahati ng paglagi namin sa bangkok! buti na lang at naihanda ko na ang aking sarili sa gan'tong sitwasyon bago pa man kami lumipad. sa gayon, nabawasan ang pagkayamot sa paglakad mag-isa.

maigi ring natutuhan ko na ang medyo kumplikadong taymer ng kamera ni zel, kaya naman naikot ko ang lahat ng wat sa ayutthaya (tulad ng nasa piktyur sa kaliwa). salamat din sa ingles at konting ngiti, napakiusapan ko ang ilang mga koreano at mga puti na kunan ako ng piktyur magkaminsan. kailangan nga lang na sinuhin ang bawat taong pinakiusapan kundi mahahalata na nila marahil na nagiging personal na potograpo ko na sila! isa pang maigi sa pagiging solong turista ay ang kawalan ng taong intindihin at kailangang pakisamahan. nakapaglagi ako sa mga lugar na nais kong puntahan, sa tulong na rin ng aming libot-giya.

magandang destinasyon ang bangkok sa mga solong turista. dikit-dikit ang mga murang tuluyan; maraming mga ahenteng nag-aalok ng paglilibot sa kabuuan ng thailand o maging sa karatig na mga bansa; maraming murang bilihin; ang pagkain ay ok na rin, bagamat maanghang kaysa sa normal dito sa pilipinas; magigiliw ang mga tao at sanay sa pagdagsa ng mga farang mula sa iba't ibang lugar. sa tingin ko, babalik ako rito. una, upang makita ang kanilang mga dalampasigan at higit sa lahat, upang makatawid ng hangganan patungong angkor wat.

pettiness

Try to rise above all the pettiness today.

It's going to be a huge waste of time.

- Friendster Horoscope

(",)

alfie

while news about teenage pregnancy isn't news at all (local or global), stories are usually centered on the girl who at young age got pregnant and needs to mature prematurely to raise her child. this one is different. british media got engrossed with alfie's story and how at his young age of 12, got her girlfriend pregnant. what's striking about alfie is that he looks more like an 8 year old boy (or even younger), that's why his story was front-paged by a host of tabloids and got the attention of the whole country, even here.

this is where the need for sex education comes in. in a developed country such as britain, where sex education is already included in their curriculum, teenage pregnancy is still on the rise and makes for a storied article such as this. imagine the philippine setting, where sex education is limited. of course, we all know that within the family, sex and its implications are rarely discussed, treating it as bastos, so kids' first information about the birds and the bees are usually gathered from barkadas or circle of friends. that's why, the rate of teenage pregnancy is already on its alarming level. the less information kids know about sex, the more they get curious, which usually leads to unprotected "exploration", until finally, teenage pregnancy. boys like alfie or girls like chantelle should be at school, enjoying their childhood and prepping themselves for adulthood. but because of poor guidance and in pinoys' case, lack of information and a host of other factors, leave their childhod early and are forced to raise a family when they themselves still need parental care.

Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13
By Lucy Hagan, The Sun


BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."

PM Gordon Brown refused to comment directly on the story but said it was important that the Government did all it could to prevent teenage pregnancies.

Alfie’s dad Dennis yesterday told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.


He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Today Sussex Police and the local council's children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents. Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

facebook

i haven't done the "25 random things about you" on facebook yet, even if i already got tagged by pops and aby. i don't have time, hehehehe! and there's no template. unlike the usual bulletins on friendster, facebook's newest stuff doesn't have a standard set of questions that you can answer. instead, it's a free-flowing listing of 25 points about you. it can cover anything, from your measly adventures when you were a kid, favorites or your closely guarded guilty pleasures. helen (author of article below) summed it up quite nicely.

25 random things about Facebook
It’s not a computer virus, but it sure is starting to feel like one

By Helen A.S. Popkin
msnbc.com, Feb. 2, 2009

It’s not a computer virus, but for some Facebook members, it’s starting to feel like one. It’s called the "25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you," and it seems all the kids are doing it. The Facebook notification pops up in your e-mail or Facebook "wall" with instructions to list these 25 things and tag 25 of your own “friends” to do the same.

The only thing lacking in this dubious invitation is the dire threat of a chain letter — that failure to comply means certain death in say, the next 25 days. Well, turnabout is fair play. Let's see how YOU like it, Facebook!

1. Facebook fosters the illusion that every person you know actually cares that you left your Nikes in the locker room at Crunch.

2. Nobody cares that you left your Nikes in the locker room at Crunch.

3. If you join Facebook to find out what your kids are up to, you might actually find out what your kids are up to.

4. You don’t want to find out what your kids are up to.

5. Unless, of course, you want to find photos of your 19-year-old daughter making out with another 19-year-old coed for the edification of a bunch of 19-year old dudes doing beer bongs. (That’s age 19, if you’re lucky.)

6. You can announce your divorce on Facebook via the heart icon thingy.

7. Don’t announce your divorce on Facebook.

8. Don’t announce your divorce on Facebook for a number of reasons, the least of which is that all your "friends" will respond on your "wall" with sympathies that in a different era would've been delivered in privacy. You wouldn’t console somebody by shouting across a room full of people. Why are you doing it on a Facebook "wall?"

9. You people take Facebook way too seriously.

10. A woman was killed after changing her relationship status on Facebook.

11. Remember that Burger King "Whopper Sacrifice" application that allegedly offered a free Whopper coupon for every 10 friends you dumped? Well, you probably shouldn’t have dumped a couple of your oldest friends, two of which are hardcore vegans. At least one of them didn’t find it hilarious at all and now they won’t “re-friend” you.

12. If you join Facebook to find people you used to know, you’re just as likely to find your middle school BFF Jill as you are to reignite the passions of that one guy from Photography class who has been stalking you since junior college.

13. "Don’t Get Botox"

14. Facebook can get you fired. Yes, you. Just like you are not that one person who can drive safely while talking on a cell phone, you are not that one person who is in no danger of getting fired for something stupid posted by or about you on Facebook.

15. What’s more, your boss is on Facebook. If you join, you’re going to have to decide whether to accept his or her "friendship." If you accept, you risk losing your job for something he or she stumbles upon. If you attempt to play it safe by not accepting your boss’s "friendship," you risk losing your job for offending him or her.

16. Oh, and you’re also at risk of alienating your oldest friends by bumping their rank in your "Always show these friends" box. We’re talking your adult friends, like, in their 30s and 40s, with jobs and kids and all kinds of grown-up responsibilities.

17. Your otherwise grown-up friends are angry at you for bumping their "Always show these friends" rank because obviously you’re trying to communicate some kind of super secret Facebook message along the lines of, "I value your friendship two-people less today than I did yesterday." It’s like watching your friendship stock plummet.

18. The esteemed widow of former Emperor of Malawi did not just send you a "friend" request, nor is she bearing a unique and prosperous offer straight out of Nigeria just for you.

19. And while we’re on the subject, I'VE JUST BEEN HELD UP AT GUNPOINT IN LONDON AND I NEED YOU TO SEND ME $600 NOW!!!!!

20. Facebook is most concerned about Your Privacy. (And the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny are friends!)

21. Don’t connect your Facebook and Twitter accounts. People you haven’t heard from for, like, seven years — people you never thought you were friends with — will leave lame and annoying comments on your Tweets.

22. It’s like, hey, if you want to rekindle the friendship I never thought we had, call me or at least send a private e-mail. Jeez.

23. OK, the cool thing about having your Facebook and Twitter accounts connected is that your Tweets show up as your status updates. But then, if people respond on Twitter and maybe ask you something, and you respond via Twitter, it shows up as your Facebook status, and that’s annoying.

24. While you're sending zombie challenges to all your "friends," there's a guy in Egypt using Facebook to foment democracy.

25. Eventually, someone will post photos from your high school yearbook. Dang, your hair was big. Naw, but seriously. You kids are awesome! Come "friend" me on Facebook!

senior-hood

this article provides a practical list of to-dos for singles like me... especially those who are about to hit their 30's! this would be a good time to really invest on things that will be mostly useful if and when you hit 40 and you're still single. (",)

Preparing for single senior-hood

By Alya Honasan
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 02/02/2009

THE year 2008 didn’t end too well for me. Recurring health problems, crossroads in important areas of life and difficult relationships left me not very enthusiastic about the year to come. As I struggled with a painful gum problem, I thought to myself: here I am, 44 years old, the youngest in our brood of five boys and a girl (with my dad and three of the boys already gone), and by default, the main person taking care of my 84-year-old mother. Not that I resent the job—I love my mother dearly—but it’s really a lot for just one person, and I often find myself wishing that I had a sister to share the load with so we could take care of our mother and each other the way only women can. As it is, I have no sisters, no husband (a matter of choice as much as circumstance), and no children (they were never on the agenda). My two living brothers have their own immediate families, who will naturally take precedence over everybody else. Which led me to the obvious question: When I’m old and unproductive and I’ll need help getting around, who’ll take care of me?

In the last few years, I’ve confirmed the answer, beyond the shadow of a doubt, from my own observations as well as endless discussions with friends in the same boat: I will take care of me. It’s a logical statement, not a sad one. The fact is, I alone will be primarily responsible for myself. Besides, I’ve always thought the idea of bearing a child to have someone take care of you in old age is a selfish agenda, and I think parents who keep drilling this obligation into their kids’ heads and investing in them for this express purpose are laying the groundwork for resentment and dysfunction.

It’s not just me who’s facing this challenge. More and more, I have friends—male, female and otherwise—who are getting older with no prospects of domesticity in their immediate future. Let’s not count a companion/lover/partner, who can appear and disappear just as quickly, but at our age, most of us have pretty much given up on passing on the genes—which means that if and when the partner goes first, you’re back to Square of One.

And yes, we have discussed this, my friends and I—where we will live, how we intend to manage whatever resources we have, what we plan to do when we retire single. Barring any last-minute couplings—which will always be welcome, take note—the current plan among my closest friends and I is a set-up that already exists in many places, a sort of private retirement home where we pool funds for infrastructure, common areas and a shared staff of nurses, drivers and house help. We will have the privacy of individual rooms when we want quiet time and the freedom to plan our own days, but we’ll always have the option of doing things together. After all, aren’t friends supposed to be the blood brothers and sisters you weren’t born with?

The interesting part is, yes, several of us have siblings and nieces and nephews. But we’ve decided we want a lot more security than the thickness of blood over water, and on just banking on the goodness of the hearts of people who will have other things to worry about—and who never signed any contracts to care for the unmarried aunt/uncle.

Dignified life

So can one prepare for solo old age? Maybe not completely, but my friends and I have concluded that there are some things to bear in mind so life is full, pleasant and dignified, even when (or probably because?) you’re alone.

1. Don’t ever, ever assume you will be somebody else’s problem. Sorry for the overstatement but this happens too often for comfort. “Oh, bahala na si (clueless younger relative) sa akin.” Of course, all of us wish we could be so smug and naïve. I myself used to kid my oldest nephew and my nieces about looking after me, but that is no longer something I ever plan to bring up. They have their own lives now, and taking care of other people is not in their nature. Although the Filipino family is famously extended, every unmarried, childless person above 40 should never forget that in relation to your siblings’ families, you will always be optional and peripheral, never central. You hover somewhere outside the nucleus of priorities because you didn’t create a nucleus of your own. It’s nothing personal; it’s fate, not tragedy, and the sooner you accept that as a fact of life, the sooner it becomes easy to do your own thing without overblown expectations and hurt feelings.

2. You must manage your resources exceptionally well. Save large chunks of everything you make. What I’ve saved is far from enough to live on, but I reckon I’ve got some time to build that nest egg, and I avoid debts like the plague. You must invest in a place that’s all your own, never mind how big the family home is, how large an inheritance you’re expecting or how much extra space there is in your married brother or sister’s house. A good project I bagged over 10 years ago allowed me to put a down payment on a shoebox of a condo unit in a major commercial center—a shoebox it is, but it’s all mine and it will be enough for me once I’ve scaled down in my older years. (In the meantime, it’s making me some extra cash.) Get professional advice to make sure you invest in good instruments (although the most conservative ones will probably be the best choices now), and to help you calculate how much you should have in the bank to enable you to live decently on interest and dividends. Oh, and make sure your agent sells you a pension plan, not a life insurance plan. You don’t need to leave your money to a beneficiary; you want to have it to take care of your own needs and wants while you’re alive. You will also need to have enough to pay for professional home care if necessary. Speaking of insurance...

3. You must have medical insurance. If you’ve got money to spare, get some above and beyond your company policy, which will most likely end with your retirement, and by then you may be too old to buy personal medical insurance. A single major hospital stint can wipe out a chunk of your retirement fund if you’re not covered. In line with that, do everything you can to stay healthy. Exercise, eat well, don’t stress yourself out—and make it easier to care for yourself in the future.

4. Nurture relationships with friends in the same boat. No, I don’t mean you stop talking to friends who are attached, married or parenting, but your core group should be people with the same concerns and priorities—and believe me, that’s not a problem nowadays. It makes it easier to relate to the same issues, whether you’re feeling good over a career high or bad about being ignored by a favorite niece (like I said, you’re optional).

5. Get your personal network in place. That covers everything from knowing where to go for some counseling to having friends all over the place and a favorite getaway here and abroad that you feel comfortable visiting alone, to shops and services that you can patronize and develop a relationship with. All that being said, it’s important to remember to live your life in the meantime and not stress too much about your future. Save, but treat yourself when there’s a windfall, because being single means, yes, you can spend the money in the spa instead of on a new pair of youngster’s school shoes (horrors). And if you do have a generous younger relative who repeatedly insists that he/she will take care of you in your old age, be gracious and accept the offer for the blessing it is—but don’t go giving everything you own to charity just yet. After all, for the single soon-to-be senior, the “power of one” takes on a whole new meaning.

mentor

i just got to post this great piece from pete bodo. as i'm a rabid tennis fan, i've read quite a number of essays about the great rivalry between roger and rafa and most of these have just all boiled down to one thing - roger's greatness and rafa's determined retrieving. most of tennis critics have little appreciation of rafa's skills, likening him with tennis players such as michael chang, lleyton hewitt or arantxa sanchez-vicario - all great retrievers but no real weapon. this article provides a new punto de vista on rafa's skills and athleticism, heart and humility.

Mentor Mine
By Pete Bodo

Howdy, everyone. I'm a little late on this, but as I posted at the previous thread, Typepad ate my entire Rafael Nadal post earlier today. I can't tell you how far your heart sinks the moment you realize the work is gone for good and can't be retrieved. So here we go again.

I confess that I was a little disappointed when Nadal showed up in Melbourne in. . .sleeves. It signaled the end of an era - that period when you could watch Nadal and feel safe judging him a Rousseauvian character, the wild boy from Manacor, slashing and blasting his way through a draw as if it was less a game of tennis than a demolition derby (and didn't sleeveless Rafa remind you just a wee bit of a derby car, perhaps 1988 Plymouth Fury with the doors removed?).

Well, those days are gone; if Jet Boy will never again look quite so much like a cross between a cartoon Superhero and Rambo, he'll also never again be accused of being a one-dimensional tennis pro. He's now the defending champ on all three Grand Slam surfaces (hard courts, grass, clay).

Watching the final, I sensed from the start that it was going the be a battle of wills, more than skills. And that's not a diplomatic way of saying that Nadal's will would trump Federer's skill, although it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened, and not just in this rivalry. These men are evenly matched in the skills department, if you concede that that placing a feathery drop volley is no more, or less, a skill than bending a running passing shot around the netpost and landing it in the square foot at either corner of the opposite court. Or that hitting a specific serve on demand, when it's most needed, is the equal of executing a turn-around jump volley.

The skills of Nadal and Federer are different in kind, but not in quality, and certainly not in utility. Each of us may prefer certain skills to others, but personal taste plays a much larger role in our minds than on the field of play.

In fact, the skills of the two men are so well-dovetailed that they more or less fought to a standstill in that department. Might Federer have served better? Of course. But what if Nadal would have returned better? There's no point in dealing with flying pigs, so it seems to me that with the skills deadlocked, the match was decided by will. But let's be careful about this, because saying Nadal "wanted" it more doesn't do the man justice - didn't most of us tell our children, today or yesterday, that there is no causal relationship between "wanting" and "getting? You might say that Rafa showed more "heart," but that seems unnecessarily cruel. Let's just say that when they tabulated the sum of want and heart in each man, Nadal's total added up to a higher number.

What struck me most about Nadal, beyond the comments I made in my last post, was his imperturbability. He's extraordinarily well designed to withstand the pressures and temptations of competition, right down to, or perhaps because of, the way he goes about his business. He doesn't seem to care what his opponent is doing or thinking, or what the moment means (he's got plenty of time to experience the exquisite torture of that apprehension, and when he does the first person he calls for advice will probably be Federer). The best example of Nadal's ability to be totally absorbed in the task of the moment (and what a blessing that is) is in the way he lines up his serve, as painstakingly and openly as he aligns his water bottles. Does he worry about telegraphing his intentions to one of the best returners in the game? Nah. Does he feel obliged to mix it up, lest this 13-time Grand Slam winner tee off on the return and drill him through the forehead? Nah.

This points somewhere interesting, for once you get past the matters of style, Nadal turns out to be more like Pete Sampras than Federer has ever been. Like Sampras, Nadal isn't going to out-think his opponent (or himself). He's not going to try to blind-side him, or overwhelm him with inventive, creative shotmaking. He's going straight at him, with the most powerful weapon he has, and let the chips fall where they may. And that automatically gives him additional heft. Sampras's early coach Tim Gullikson used to try to pump Sampras up by comparing him to a certain power-based play made famous by the NFL's iconic team, the Green Bay Packers: You're like the Packers power sweep," Tim would say, his eyes gleaming. "They know it's coming, but there's nothing they can do to stop it.

That's Rafa's way as well; he'd look good in green-and-gold.

These virtues are relatively easy to discuss, compared to the quality that may be most responsible for Nadal having won the match, his stamina. Let's be clear about this: Tennis Australia owes him, big-time, for not running out of gas midway through the match. The decision to play the semi-finalists on different days is unfathomable. Who would have thought that when it comes to boneheaded scheduling, anyone could surpass the US Open's insistence on holding the men's semifinals and final on back-to-back days?

For a period in the second set, it looked as if Nadal was going to pay a heavy penalty for his lengthy semifinal with Fernando Verdasco. But that swoon, uncharacteristic and inconvenient as it was (Nadal at that point looked like he might actually humiliate Federer) didn't last, and it's hard to say what caused it. The recovery was a tribute not just to Nadal's physical powers, but his nerves. By the end, well-rested Federer looked more the exhausted man. Have we ever seen a more vivid demonstration of the role nerves play in a match, or the often derided notion that you're only as tired as you allow yourself to be?

Pondering Nadal's stamina, I was reminded of that famous quote Adriano Panatta delivered after he lost a terrific five-setter to Jimmy Connors at the US Open some years ago: Jimmy. . . he doesn't want to die. I always found that quote irritating, probably because it's a truism. But it comes about as close as you can get to identifying the kind of drive and determination that has to be considered a special gift, and there's a certain amount of appeal in the idea that we play sports partly because doing so allows us to absolutely revel in our own driving life force. Anyone who's ever experienced the ecstasy of physical exhaustion will probably know what I mean. It's at the boundaries of our physical capabilities where we're most in touch with the miracle of our own corporeal existence.

Nadal has always seemed sufficiently earthy not only to enjoy this condition, but to accept what discomfort comes along with it. The overt physicality of his game is not just a matter of style, it's also a dimension of personality. Don't you get the sense that if you could attach a happiness meter to his nervous system, it would register the highest score when he's chasing like mad after a seemingly irretrievable ball? In this, Nadal has been uncorrupted by prudence or fancy notions of "energy management", which can lead down the road to self-created limitations.

Nadal seems to have steered clear of such pitfalls thanks in part to his coach and uncle, Toni. One of the more interesting things Toni told me at the last US Open was that while developing Rafa, he would sometimes make him practice with old balls, or take him to a broken-down old court, just to impress on him that playing only under ideal conditions is inadequate training for adversity. The lesson took: nobody in today's game handles adversity better than Nadal.

This ability to absorb lessons is one of Rafa's trademark characteristics, and while it's counter-intuitive to think of a great champion as a great student, this seems to be the case. Nadal is a model student; he respects his teachers, and no matter what he achieves, it never seems to occur to him that he's outgrown them, or has come to know more. He may have greater talent, and he may achieve more success, but it doesn't change the established order.

This has less impact in his role as a pupil of Toni's than it does in his relationship to his other great mentor. . . Roger Federer. Think about it: Who set the bar for Rafa? Who painted the baseline of greatness for him? Who handled himself with the kind of statesmanlike dignity that a good, obedient, eager and intelligent young learner might want to emulate? Isn't it odd, at some level, that this rivalry has been utterly free of acrimony, given the way that Jimmy Connors trash-talked Bjorn Borg, and John McEnroe and Ivan Lendl took every opportunity to express their mutual antipathy?

Rafa may have eclipsed his mentor, but I believe that while he's well aware of the situation and proud of what he's accomplished, he's not inclined to think of it in those terms. There's a lot more than good manners, tact and a kindly disposition at work in this; there's also a certain purity of spirit. Nobody appreciates TMF more than Rafa does, because nobody has done more for him than Federer. I can imagine Rafa experiencing many emotions on the heels of this win, but gloating isn't one of them. I thought that the consolation he offered Federer after the podium breakdown was telling; Nadal didn't need to think for a moment of what to do, or how to handle the situation. He threw his arm around Federer and produced one of the most genuine smiles I've ever seen cross his elastic, expressive features. The gesture seemed to come from the heart, and testify to how large it is.

Hail, it even made Roger look sheepish, which was quite a feat, given the emotional tone of the moment.

To some, this win at a hard court major was overdue. It was an understandable concern, because players tend to establish histories at certain events and on specific surfaces, much like they do against their rivals. And once a pattern is established, it becomes hard to break - and harder with each missed opportunity. I don't think hard courts posed special problems for Nadal; I believe the backstory to his results on the surface was more a matter of priorities.

This was, to some degree, a culturally-driven decision. The tale of clay-court wizards having to "prove" themselves outside their red dirt playgrounds is as old as the hills, and the rocky history of so many great Spanish players at Wimbledon puts a special premium on winning there (Who can forget the huge fuss a group of Spanish players led by Alex Corretja made a few years back at Wimbledon, because of the demotion of some clay-court experts in the seedings?). Wimbledon was the highest priority for Nadal, and after he checked it off his to-do list, he was liberated to focus on further ambitions.

As it turns out, though, there's far more at stake for Nadal now at the US Open. He's shown that he can win on hard courts, but the American major represents an opportunity for Nadal to join the select group of just five men who have completed the "Career Grand Slam", winning at least once at each major venue. The last person to do it was Andre Agassi, in 1999. Before that, it was Roy Emerson, in 1964. And let's not forget that Nadal will be the overwhelming favorite to win the French Open, which means that he's got a realistic shot at completing the first Grand Slam since Rod Laver's second one, in 1969.

It's a small price to pay for adding a couple of sleeves, no?

melbourne

“this is very special, it’s a dream to win here, a grand slam on hard court. i have worked very hard… all my life to improve my tennis outside of clay. i have six right now, i’m happy with my six. when i won my first one i didn’t know if i would win any more. you never know when that will stop so you have to be cautious and be humble.” - rafa nadal, on winning his 1st aussie open title. he now has won slams on 3 different surfaces and is the first spaniard to win the title in melbourne.

what a glorious sunday! after serena williams waxed dinara safina in women's final, tennisdom was treated to another historic showdown between 2 of today's bests and probably 2 of the future all-time greats - rafa and roger! 2 geniuses going at it, trading all-court shots, with rafa winning in the end... yay! 71 winners and 64 unforced errors from roger, while rafa hit 50 winners and committed 41 unforced errors... but roger won 1 more point in total - 174 all in all.

i couldn't stand watching all the 4 hour battle, so when rafa won the first set, i set out to do my grocery, so as not to jinx his winning ways. it turned out that he lost the 2nd set, 3-6. when i got back, they were on serve in the 3rd set, even if nadal needed treatment due to cramps. when they headed to a tiebreak, i shifted to other channel... baka malasin ulit, hehehehe! but when i came back, he already clinched the 3rd set. i watched the first 3 games of the 4th set, only to see roger breaking rafa. i decided to take a break and see other shows. and true enough, rafa lost the 4th set, again 3-6. at that point, it was visible that rafa was tiring. and whatever vijay predicted that rafa would win in in 4 sets, evaporated in the 4th set. i only went back to the live match when i saw that rafa was ahead by 4-2 in the fifth. he then served out a 5-2 lead. after some tense rallies, rafa finally won on roger's final error! yeheeeeey! i think the guard (just outside my unit) could hear my cheers all throughout the match!

rafa remains to be a big stumbling block in roger's quest to top sampras' 14-slam record... and i hope that it stays that way! rafa has fastly improved - more aggressive game, effective serve and flattened strokes. all the greats - sampras, laver, mcenroe, borg, connors, predicted that roger would win this one and tie pete's record. it was only vijay (who is always all praises to the great federer) who bravely put his money on rafa, on the basis of his performances leading up to the semis, such as his match against tommy haas, fernando gonzalez and gilles simon. and he was right all along. (",) jake niall of the age sums it up: Federer does not serve below 50 per cent against Roddick or most players. He does not double-fault on set point, as he did in the third set tiebreaker, against others. Nadal's ability to neutralise winners into rallies (or losers), to keep forcing deuce when Federer is serving, to not concede a single point, drains the magic from Federer's racquet.

matches like this only prove how great tennis is as an individual game. skills are definitely prerequisite. but strategy, killing instinct, ambition should also be there. most of all, physical and mental strength and endurance are key factors in winning. this is what rafa and roger showed yesterday... the better athlete won!

all australian open 2009 winners came from the bottom half of the draw (except top seed rafa): serena williams (women's singles); bryan brothers (men's doubles); williams sisters (women's doubles) and mahesh bhupathi & sania mirza (mixed doubles). oh and there was a pinoy in this year's list of winners! francis casey alcantara won the boys' doubles title with cheng peng hsieh. it would be nice to see alcantara mature and join the ranks of pros in the international circuit. best of luck to him. mabuhay ang pinoy!

roland garros in may! the season has just started, i hope that 2009 will be another banner year for rafa. vamos rafa!!! (",)